In light of how completely and hopelessly useless they are, Internet petitions are an extraordinarily popular way of having feelings all over the place. The list of websites to leave tears and snot on the shoulder of are seemingly endless; OnlinePetition, iPetitions, Change.org, Petition Spot……
So I learnt something today. I guess I can start drinking to forget now.
This machine allows anyone to work for minimum wage for as long as they like. Turning the crank on the side releases one penny every 4.97 seconds, for a total of $7.25 per hour. This corresponds to minimum wage for a person in New York.
This piece is brilliant on multiple levels, particularly as social commentary. Without a doubt, most people who started operating the machine for fun would quickly grow disheartened and stop when realizing just how little they’re earning by turning this mindless crank. A person would then conceivably realize that this is what nearly two million people in the United States do every day…at much harder jobs than turning a crank. This turns the piece into a simple, yet effective argument for raising the minimum wage.
While you’re trying to decide what to have for lunch, I’m explaining to myself, once again, why the world would not be a better place without me in it.
While you’re trying to make Microsoft Word’s margins work the way you would expect they should work, I’m sitting here trying to make my brain realise that suicide is a ridiculous, over-the-top reaction to a cloud of unremitting anxiety.
While you’re jumping on Facebook to like the latest photo the George Takei posted, I’m fighting the desire to go and walk into oncoming traffic.
And while you’re trying to decide to who to call to hang out with tonight, I’m wondering who I could call to tell “Hey, I feel like killing myself. Yeah, again.”
There’s no-one I can call.
I won’t kill myself. I’m just so very tired of having to fight with the idea.